On behalf of my friend Mary who called to ask one question: “Will Trump go to jail?” I said, “No. He’ll go to prison.”
Which got me started chatting about Club Fed and what I knew about it.
Well, I was wrong. After I told Mary the bookend federal prisons were Allenwood, the country club of prisons, and Florence, the hard core max prison, my fingers traveled to Google and what I learned upended my calculus.
Oh, Florence is as bad as it ever was, but Allenwood — I had to give you the link so you could see what the outside and entrance look like, i.e., like a modest Trump hotel or your local day spa in a strip mall— sounds as hard core as Florence. It does, to be sure, have a low security pod but that’s not what shows up initially via Google. I had to search around to give Mary a list of the inmate facilities which make Allenwood sound more like a spa than a country club. In fact, I suggested to Mary we check ourselves in for a vacation. (Spin class? Yoga? Chess?)
But Allenwood does not have a golf course. I was afraid it did. Eglin, on the other hand, might have had a golf course; I do believe I recall hearing about tennis courts. So I just looked it up and what did I find? It was Eglin and its facilities which first earned the name Club Fed. But the Bureau of Prisons closed it.
Honestly, the BoP is far too sensitive.
I have to go shopping now; I’m out of greens, fruit and corn. Au revoir.