“Alabama: School May Arm Students With Canned Peas”

Another brief item from the New York Times. Caused irrepressible, crazy laughter. Caused contradictory thoughts: (1) Alabama towns are going stark, staring state mad, but (2) maybe this is better than insisting all students and teachers be armed with AK-47s, or whatever they arm kids with nowadays. In case of invasions. From alien farmers?

I’m pasting in the entire thing, but if you don’t believe me, here’s the link so you can confirm it was a genuine AP story printed in the New York Times. Oh, and take a long look at the last sentence, in case you like having your mouth drop open, I don’t know why, but maybe it’s a stress reliever for you…

A middle school principal wants to stockpile cans of corn and peas in classrooms for students to hurl at possible intruders as a last defense. In a letter Friday, Priscella Holley, principal at W. F. Burns Middle School in Valley, Chambers County, asked parents to have each student bring an eight-ounce canned item. The can “could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive,” Ms. Holley wrote. “The canned food item will give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel secure.” The school superintendent said the request had brought few complaints.

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