From where else but Lowering the Bar:
Here’s the, um, first bite:
The original headline, “Arkansas Judge Mauled by Family’s Pet Zebra,” was pretty good and has a nice rhythm to it, but I thought it was important to be clear that the zebra-owning family was his own. This wasn’t just a random zebra attack, it was domestic (animal) violence.
Specifically, according to the report, the judge was “attacked Sunday night by a zebra owned by his father,” apparently while the judge was visiting the family home where said zebra is kept. It says that the judge “sustained injuries to an eye and an arm,” and was still in a Little Rock hospital as of Tuesday, although details on his condition were not available. In fact, few details of any kind are available: “Authorities wouldn’t discuss details of the attack—including any explanation for why a family happened to own and maintain a zebra on private property.” This report does get the judge’s name wrong, though, so it doesn’t look like they dug too deeply.