Animal news: D.C. has been assaulted by plagues. It needs relief

First, there was the plague which occupied the White House for four years.

Then the series of plagues that White House brought upon the heads of protesters, the ugliest of which was open racism.

Then the January 6 assault upon the Capitol, most certainly a plague.

And the plague of unbalanced, ignorant and violent congresspeople provided by the GOP, who supported the January 6 plague.

So maybe the plague of cicadas, as awful as they may be to me, wasn’t really a top flight plague. Or maybe I’m thinking that because they never reached New York.

Speaking of New York, we now have a plague of lanternflies — very pretty (if you like that sort of bug), but really bad news for agriculture. And they infest trees. (“Infest” is a strongly unpleasant word, isn’t it?)

But lanternflies don’t attack people, unlike D.C.’s latest bug plague, tiny but nasty out of proportion to its size: the oak mite. It bites, or stings people. And the effects of the bites last for weeks.

Really, it’s our duty as Americans to offer D.C. some surcease from these plagues. Hydrocortisone is being suggested for the oak mites, but my overarching solution? Let’s make D.C. a state, let it elect two senators and one congressperson, all of which would have full congressional powers. D.C. citizens would have three important people to whom they could complain — about oak mites, domestic terrorists, cicadas, aliens from outer states, whatever.

They deserve this, at the very least.



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