Animal news, in which one animal is definitely dumber than the other

What would any of us animal watchers do without human beings for derisive laughter? We certainly don’t get that from the non-human animals who exhibit natural intelligence, especially when interconnecting with human animals.

Instead of exhibiting any natural intelligence of their own, human animals tend to…sue.

So here’s Kevin Underhill, maestro of LoweringTheBar, on one of these human animals. Who is suing…oh, never mind. Just read it. (If you want a fuller, equally hilarious, legal dissertation from Kevin on other wacky human-animal cases involving the assumption-of-risk doctrine, click on the title. I mean, I provided the link for this purpose so don’t make my effort futile. I get sad when I feel futile.) (P.S. If you can bear a series of deep belly laughs today, of all days, read the link covering Kevin Underhill’s name. Plus, you’ll get to see what he looks like.)

Man Who Wanted “Full-Contact Experience” With Leopard Sues After Getting One

Oct 30, 2020 01:52 pm | Kevin

I suppose an “assumption of risk” category is long overdue here, but in any event, welcome to the first official member of that category.

Others will be added retroactively, nor is this at all likely to be the last one.

According to numerous reports today, a 50-year-old Florida man has filed a lawsuit alleging that he was mauled by a leopard at an animal sanctuary, and that the owner is responsible for allowing him to have full contact with this dangerous animal.

This is even though he not only asked for full contact with this dangerous animal, he paid $150 to get it.

According to the reports, Michael Poggi, who owns Poggi’s Animal House—though its Facebook page is now offline—promised the man a “full-contact experience” with a black leopard, said experience to include the opportunity to “play with it, rub its belly and take pictures.” But, as a reporter says with an entirely straight face in the video on this page, the man now claims that “when he signed up for this one-on-one experience with a leopard, an attack was not part of that plan.”

It probably was not part of the leopard’s plan, either, it’s just the kind of thing leopards do. They might let you play with them and rub their bellies, or they might try to rip your scalp off. They’re unpredictable that way, something I think is pretty widely known. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission apparently believes this, at least, because leopards are considered “Class I wildlife” in Florida, along with other animals that “pose a significant danger to people” and, potentially, their scalps. In addition to leopards, Class I includes tigers, lions, bears, rhinos, most crocodiles, komodo dragons, and apes such as chimpanzees, which may wear funny hats on TV but in real life might try to eat your face. Under Florida law, you must have a permit to exhibit any of these animals to the public, much less allow the public to hug them.

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