How many times did I laugh? And/or wince? Uncountable. You too should have this pleasure, ergo…
You Think Our Country Is Bad? Department
•Two days after losing an election, Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro, who said that a congresswoman was too ugly to rape, led what Médecins Sans Frontières described as the worst COVID-19 response in the world, and claimed that he would “eat an Indian, no problem at all,” authorized the transfer of power to his opponent, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, without conceding defeat.
•Israeli prime minister Yair Lapid conceded defeat to former prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu after the nation’s fifth election in less than four years. Netanyahu, who is currently on trial for bribery and fraud, and under whose leadership Israel began to construct at least 19,000 settler homes in illegally occupied territory, won as part of a coalition with the Religious Zionism party, whose leader was convicted in 2007 of racist incitement against Arabs and who campaigned on the slogan “Who’s the landlord here?”
•A Chinese man who won over $30 million in a lottery accepted his check while wearing a mascot costume in order to hide the news from his wife and child.
•Bavarian police found crystal meth in a doughnut.
Well, OK, Our Country Has A Few Problems Department
•“Some of us have horrible children,” said former president Donald Trump.
•It was revealed that 44 percent of voters believe that the government is controlled by a secret cabal.
•A Texan House candidate was reported to have written a novel in which Anne Frank embraces Christianity while imprisoned in a concentration camp…
•…and Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker said that he has a solution to America’s major problems but won’t share it because Democrats would copy it. “They are good at lying to you,” he said.
•Elon Musk fired nearly half of Twitter’s staff, including the entire accessibility and human rights teams, and, in a tweet, threatened to “thermonuclear name and shame” companies that had stopped advertising on the platform.
Hm. I Think There’s More To These Stories Department
•The Air Force denied that a refuel plane intentionally drew a penis in the sky near a Russian base.
•An Alaska Airlines flight was delayed for over two hours after the pilots could not get along.
•A nurse in Wisconsin was charged with abuse for cutting off a man’s foot without permission.
•Firefighters in Denver were suspended for having a living woman declared dead.
•In Roachdale, Indiana, officers pursued a man who was recklessly driving a lawnmower while dressed as Pikachu. “No other Pokémon characters were involved in this incident,” the police department wrote. “However, we are not opposed to catching them all.”