Burlesque dancer sues salon over damaged hair. BUT…

Really, truly, I am not linking to this story because it’s the sort of wild, nutty thing the Daily News gives almost a whole page to.

I really don’t care that this burlesque dancer (two pics) accuses the John Barrett Salon of using bleach (her hair is unquestionably bleached; what the hell has she been using since the age of, oh, say, 14?) and clumps of it came out, or whatever, and she’s seriously worried that the patches “might hurt her career and she’s seeking $150,000 in damages.” (A modest amount for a damage demand, I must say.)

Nor do I care that her nom de burlesque is “DeeDee Luxe.”

I do like the Daily News hard copy headline — “Stripped Of My Hairs: Showgirl sues for bleaching boo-boo” — but what really thrilled me was this paragraph:

For reasons not made clear in the papers, Yost waited two weeks before she returned to the salon, which is located on the penthouse floor of Bergdorf Goodman, and confronted the alleged rapier of her locks. [My bolding]

An standing, screaming-in-joy ovation for writers Andy Mai and Corky Siemaszko. Because how many tabloid reporters are so literate and so deliciously witty that they can sneak a tiny, subtle pun reference to the 1712 Alexander Pope satirical poem, “The Rape of the Lock,” into a story about a stripper?

I am in awe of you guys.

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