From Harper’s Weekly Review:
Thirty-four people charged with crimes related to the January 6 assault on the Capitol who are being held in a Washington jail submitted a request to be transferred to Guantánamo Bay, complaining of “hellacious conditions” that include food with worms in it and tablets with critical race theory materials on them.
These people need a Club Fed social worker. Someone who’ll sit down and inform them how nicely their conditions improve when they are convicted, sentenced and head off to a federal prison facility.
Club Fed has amenities which do not include food with worms in it, never mind dosages of critical race theory meds. Whatever that means. (You made all of this up and we all know it.)
So stop whining. When you become a Club Fed resident, you’ll be able to order from a lengthy commissary menu where you’ll find smoked oysters, if you so choose, and generic Prilosec. And I did not make that up.
And if you wind up being sent to Otisville in New York State (picture below), you might want to divest from your residual anti-Semitism and convert. The prison offers a kosher menu which I hear is pretty good. (One famous ex-resident was Michael Cohen, so there you go.)