Further advice in the time of plague

I picked up what follows from a variety of family members, who themselves picked it up from colleagues, one of whom said it was from his father, and although it is technically true that his father sent it to him, we don’t think his father (whom I hear is indeed brilliant and witty) actually wrote it. Or is claiming he wrote it.

We think the father picked it up from somewhere else, and we think it’s been around for a while but…

WHO CARES? It’s terrific and you’ll love it. Guaranteed.

Heard a Dr. on TV say, in this time of pandemic, we should stay at home and should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives.

I looked through my house to find things I’d started and hadn’t finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Churdonnay, a boodle of Balleys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a bux a chocletz. Yu haf no idr howfeckin fablus I feel rite new. Sned this to all who knead inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, stafe day avrybobby!!!

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