“Goodwill Does Not Accept Skull Donations – Lowering the Bar”

Thank the gods for Lowering the Bar. I do. Without them, my Sidebar day would consist of awful things and me getting mad.

Do take a glance at this, though, reconsider your donation policies, and then read Kevin Underhill’s entire piece so you too can laugh out loud (the laughter is too loud to abbreviate as LOL):

Again, Goodwill Does Not Accept Skull Donations

Quick reminder: unwanted human skulls should probably be dropped off at the medical examiner’s office, not Goodwill. I thought we had settled this last month when somebody donated three skulls to a Goodwill in Bellevue, Washington, but another one just showed up at a Goodwill in Austin (thanks, Matt). At this point, Goodwill organizations might want to update their websites, which as a general rule don’t seem to mention human skeletal remains. Until then I will try to help get the word out.

As in the Washington case, police in Austin said they had no reason to suspect foul play in this case but would still like to chat with the skull’s previous owner (sorry—second owner). I guess if I were that person’s lawyer, I would have to advise him or her not to accept this invitation. Don’t really see much of an upside, and encounters with law enforcement have been known to go badly for the innocent.

On the other hand, if you unlawfully removed this skull from its first owner, the number to call is 512-974-5210.

I did a little research on the question of what one should do with an unwanted human skull in Texas. Probably the answer is “give it to the coroner,” but researching this in Texas was more difficult than it might be elsewhere given the number of spurious Google results involving “longhorn skulls” and “giant human skulls” said to verify parts of the Book of Genesis.

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