Got a medical emergency? Maybe don’t go here

A business name in neon above the door of a storefront in a Jersey mini-mall:

Friendly URGENT CARE

So how would this work? Here’s what I imagine:

Two men enter the front door. One of them is dragging the other one who’s pretty much flat on the ground, bleeding profusely. They are greeted by a cheerful woman clad in a white coat.

Cheerful woman: Hi there! Welcome to Friendly Urgent Care. I am Zerlina and will be your Friendly intake server for today. How can I help you in our patented Friendly way?

Standing man: Uh, my friend here [gestures to bleeding guy on the ground] needs — I mean, can’t you see he’s bleeding? A lot? Because someone who isn’t me sliced into his carotid?

Cheerful woman: Well, let’s not jump to conclusions.

Standing man: But he’s dying–

Cheerful woman: First things first. Can I have your name?

Et cetera.

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