How does our former guy compare to Brazil’s former guy?

Just before I began to type this I was holding my head in my hands. Here, courtesy of Harper’s Weekly Review, is why:

The vice president of Brazil explained that Jair Bolsonaro—who, during his presidency, was bitten by a giant bird at his palace, suffered an intestinal blockage from swallowing whole shrimp, and thrice contracted COVID-19, a disease he denied the existence of—has been absent from the public eye because a skin infection prevented him from wearing pants.

Is there some secret contest the rest of us don’t know anything about, called Which Former Guy Gets The Weirdest Of All Prize?

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