I’m still mad as hell so…I give you Comeyfy, the dictionary entry

Comeyfy (co-me-fie) a verb, as in, to Comeyfy. Past tense: Comeyfied. The gerund form: Comeyfying. Comeyfyer, male.

Description of Comeyfy: 1. A pompous man with limited authority publicly announces and pursues an investigation into the private aspects of a woman’s* professional life, despite protocols requiring such investigations be kept quiet.

2. When the investigation turns up no prosecutable act or impropriety, the authoritative man makes a public announcement — again despite protocols — granting exoneration but layering on suggestive, gratuitous and unpleasant nouns modified by exaggerated yet undefined adjectives and adverbs, i.e., “extremely careless;” “tremendous lapse in judgment;” “a significant appearance of impropriety;” “unprofessional manner;” “an odor of mendacity.” [Emphasis added by me. Because I’m still fucking mad as hell.]

3. Throughout, the authoritative man displays an attitude of intellectual and moral superiority, misplaced condescension and a patriarchal zeal for punishment — despite his own grudging admission he couldn’t find anything to punish.

Notable recent Comeyfiers include the eponymous James Comey, Scott McGhee and Robert Hur.*

*Sometimes the target is male. In such a case, the Comeyfyer primarily resorts to sneering condescension. After his statement has been published, this Comeyfyer gets publicly exposed for his distortions and dishonesty.

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