{"id":36699,"date":"2018-02-23T13:57:11","date_gmt":"2018-02-23T18:57:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\/?p=36699"},"modified":"2018-02-23T13:57:11","modified_gmt":"2018-02-23T18:57:11","slug":"whats-the-matter-with-south-carolina-saggy-trousers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\/?p=36699","title":{"rendered":"What&#8217;s the matter with South Carolina? Saggy trousers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Or: &#8221; Almost everybody in South Carolina is going to need new pants.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Of course we get this top news from Kevin Underhill&#8217;s Lowering the Bar. It&#8217;s hilarious, as always, and has something or other to do with law, so I&#8217;m giving you the whole story. Which is long. But never lets up in hilarity. (Kevin Underhill may be a lawyer but his soul is pure satire.)<\/p>\n<p>If you read the whole story, you&#8217;ll get an anatomical lesson in the difference between the ilium and the ileum.<\/p>\n<p>For anyone who has the time and needs to laugh a lot (who among us doesn&#8217;t?), go on:<\/p>\n<table border=\"0\" width=\"600\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"bodyContent\" valign=\"top\">\n<div>\n<h1>Lowering the Bar<\/h1>\n<p><strong>Contents:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul id=\"mctoc\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/us5.campaign-archive.com\/?e=b27870a939&amp;u=d34db4689a16c24346a1474e2&amp;id=558508dee3#mctoc1\">South Carolina Bill Would Require All Citizens to Wear Mom Jeans<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td valign=\"top\">\n<table border=\"0\" width=\"100%\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"bodyContent\"><a name=\"mctoc1\"><\/a><a name=\"mctoc1\"><\/a><a name=\"mctoc1\"><\/a><a name=\"mctoc1\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"mc-toc-title\">South Carolina Bill Would Require All Citizens to Wear Mom Jeans<\/h2>\n<h4>Feb 22, 2018 01:33 pm | Kevin<\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?fit=300%2C169\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?w=777 777w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?resize=300%2C169 300w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?resize=768%2C432 768w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?resize=180%2C101 180w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?resize=260%2C146 260w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?resize=373%2C210 373w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?resize=120%2C67 120w\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\" border=\"0\" data-attachment-id=\"39873\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/loweringthebar.net\/2018\/02\/carolina-mom-jeans.html\/momjeans-2\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?fit=777%2C437\" data-orig-size=\"777,437\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"momjeans\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?fit=300%2C169\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/momjeans-1.jpg?fit=777%2C437\" \/>Here are a few of the headlines in South Carolina right now, <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~www.thestate.com\">according to <em>The State<\/em><\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Imagine Dragons to rock out in Columbia this summer<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Lexington adding a restaurant that serves a burger with nine patties<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>SC legislators\u2019 bill defines \u2018parody marriage\u2019<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Five-week-old Giant Panda cub trying to roll over<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So it\u2019s not like nothing important\u2019s going on there. But somehow the state\u2019s legislature has still found time to address perhaps the most important issue of our day: <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~www.thestate.com\/latest-news\/article201073549.html\">pants that sag too low<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Obviously, this kind of thing distracts from more important matters, like the need to criminalize the use of \u201crock out\u201d and \u201cImagine Dragons\u201d in the same sentence. And yet legislatures continue to worry about waistlines.<\/p>\n<p>I say \u201ccontinue\u201d because this is by no means a new issue.\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~loweringthebar.net\/?s=sagging\">Posts here<\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~loweringthebar.net\/?s=baggy\">on this very important topic<\/a> go back to at least 2007\u2014that\u2019s more than a\u00a0<em>decade\u00a0<\/em>of coverage, people\u2014although it looks like I had mostly lost interest by 2015, or at least it took exceptional stupidity to make me pay attention by then.\u00a0<em>See <\/em>\u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~loweringthebar.net\/2015\/09\/god-pants.html\">\u2018God Would Not Go Around With Pants Down,\u2019 Says Councilman<\/a>\u201d (Sept. 15, 2015).<\/p>\n<p>That time has come again.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~www.scstatehouse.gov\/query.php?search=DOC&amp;searchtext=sagging&amp;category=LEGISLATION&amp;session=122&amp;conid=9104736&amp;result_pos=0&amp;keyval=1224957&amp;numrows=10#OCC1\">South Carolina H. 4957<\/a>, introduced on February 15, would add the following to the state code:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Section 16-17-780. \u00a0(A) \u00a0It is unlawful for a person to appear in public wearing his pants more than three inches below the crest of his ileum exposing his skin or undergarments.<\/p>\n<p>(B) \u00a0A person who violates the provisions of this section commits a noncriminal offense and is subject to a civil fine of up to twenty-five dollars for a first offense, [and up to $75 and community service for the third or subsequent offenses].<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Ten representatives sponsored this bipartisan bill, although I notice that in the last two days no fewer than eight\u00a0have asked that their names be removed as sponsors. Too late, Reps. Henderson-Myers, Williams, Gilliard, Brown,\u00a0Anderson, Long, Ott, and Bales! But you are at least entitled to slightly less derision than Reps. Martin and Jefferson, who are either the true believers in the group or got pranked by the others. Or maybe they just didn\u2019t get the memo about bailing out.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m guessing the latter, because the driving force behind this seems to have been Rep. Wendell Gilliard (D-Charleston), who reportedly <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~abcnews4.com\/news\/crime-news\/fines-for-sagging-pants-south-carolina-democrats-support-proposed-new-law\">sponsored a resolution on the same issue<\/a> back when he was a member of the city council. Ten years ago, he said, people thought he was \u201ccrazy\u201d to worry about this, but things have only gotten worse: \u201cThe pants now are being worn below the knees,\u201d he lamented. Gilliard said legislators had a responsibility to take action. \u201cWe have to lead by example,\u201d he declared, a couple days before quietly taking his name off the bill.<\/p>\n<p>Or maybe he just meant legislators should make more of an effort to keep their own pants up, which I think most of us would agree would be a good rule.<\/p>\n<p>The bill, though, would make it unlawful to wear pants \u201cmore than three inches below the crest of [the] ileum,\u201d if doing so would expose skin or undergarments. While the exact amount of sag permitted has varied among stupid legislation of this kind, the \u201ccrest\u201d measurement is fairly standard, and is intended to keep waistlines just below hip level by measuring them from the top of the hipbones.<\/p>\n<p>Only this doesn\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_39865\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\">\n<p><a title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Pelvis_diagram.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-0\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-39865\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Pelvis_diagram.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Pelvis_diagram.jpg?resize=150%2C150 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Pelvis_diagram.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=150%2C150 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Pelvis_diagram.jpg?zoom=3&amp;resize=150%2C150 450w\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" border=\"0\" data-attachment-id=\"39865\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/loweringthebar.net\/2018\/02\/carolina-mom-jeans.html\/pelvis_diagram\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Pelvis_diagram.jpg?fit=500%2C374\" data-orig-size=\"500,374\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Pelvis_diagram\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Pelvis_diagram.jpg?fit=300%2C224\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Pelvis_diagram.jpg?fit=500%2C374\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text\">It\u2019s that thing there.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>That\u2019s because <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~www.charlotteobserver.com\/latest-news\/article201073549.html\">the \u201cileum\u201d is <strong>not<\/strong> the hipbone<\/a>, as these jokers appear to believe. That\u2019s the <em><a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Ilium_(bone)\">ilium<\/a><\/em>. The <em><a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Ileum\">ileum<\/a><\/em>\u00a0is the small intestine, more specifically the last part of it. (You know, the part between the jejunum and the cecum.) Does it matter? Well, I don\u2019t know, do <em>you<\/em> think legislation referring to human body parts should refer to the right body parts? Because these are two different parts.<\/p>\n<p>Granted, this was obviously a spelling mistake. It\u2019s not that they don\u2019t know the difference between guts and bones. But the fact remains that this particular spelling mistake makes the bill refer to a different thing. And so if the bill passed in this form, acceptable pants height in South Carolina would be measured not by hip level, but by reference to the lower third of the small intestine.<\/p>\n<p>And that would have consequences, you guys, because while the ileum and the ilium are in the same general vicinity, they are <em>not<\/em> at the same height.<\/p>\n<p>I can tell you that standard anatomy texts, like the ones you might find in a law office, do a terrible job of explaining where the ileum is compared to the hipbone. (I guess the question never occurred to these geniuses?) The books usually discuss one system at a time, so the skeleton\u2019s in one part and the digestive stuff in another, and they don\u2019t appear together. Nor, more surprisingly, has anyone responded to my tweet asking whether the ilium or the ileum is higher, and by how much. But I\u2019m fairly confident now that the answers are \u201cthe ileum\u201d and \u201cenough to be funny,\u201d so that\u2019s what I\u2019m going with.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_39869\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\">\n<p><a title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-39869\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy.jpg?resize=150%2C150 150w, https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy.jpg?resize=300%2C300 300w, https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy.jpg?w=750 750w\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" border=\"0\" data-attachment-id=\"39869\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/loweringthebar.net\/2018\/02\/carolina-mom-jeans.html\/blausen_0817_smallintestine_anatomy\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy.jpg?fit=750%2C750\" data-orig-size=\"750,750\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy.jpg?fit=300%2C300\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Blausen_0817_SmallIntestine_Anatomy.jpg?fit=750%2C750\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text\">No, that\u2019s the colon<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>It\u2019s pretty easy to determine that \u201cthree inches below the crest of the <em>ilium<\/em>\u201c\u2014the top of your hipbone\u2014is in the vicinity of what most of us would call the \u201cwaist.\u201d The crest of the ileum is harder to locate, at least from the outside, which is frankly where most such investigations should end. But it seems fairly clear that it would be a few inches <em>above<\/em> the hip. And <em>that<\/em> means H. 4957 would make it unlawful to appear in public wearing anything lower than mom jeans.<\/p>\n<p>You could argue that a court would never construe the law this way because the results would be \u201cabsurd.\u201d But courts are only supposed to apply that rule when the law is ambiguous, and this one wouldn\u2019t be. It\u2019s clear enough, it just clearly refers to <em>the wrong thing<\/em>. Plus, it\u2019s not like the other interpretation <em>wouldn\u2019t\u00a0<\/em>be absurd. And according to some, <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedblitz.com\/~\/t\/0\/0\/loweringthebar\/~https:\/\/newrepublic.com\/article\/121346\/mom-jeans-are-back-fashion-trend-gets-deserved-resurrection\">mom jeans are back<\/a> anyway, so maybe that\u2019s what the legislature has in mind. So there\u2019s no way around it: almost everybody in South Carolina is going to need new pants.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, there is still time for the legislature to fix this mistake, if it is a mistake. Although at this rate the bill will have no sponsors by Friday, so the problem may take care of itself.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Or: &#8221; Almost everybody in South Carolina is going to need new pants.&#8221; Of course we get this top news from Kevin Underhill&#8217;s Lowering the Bar. It&#8217;s hilarious, as always, and has something or other to do with law, so &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\/?p=36699\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[337,1095,1175],"tags":[2809,2810,1579,699,2811,2808,2807],"class_list":["post-36699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-legal-news","category-politics","category-the-facts-of-life","tag-ileum","tag-ilium","tag-kevin-underhill","tag-lowering-the-bar","tag-mom-jeans","tag-rep-wendell-gilliard","tag-south-carolina-legislation"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Or: &quot; Almost everybody in South Carolina is going to need new pants.&quot; Of course we get this top news from Kevin Underhill&#039;s Lowering the Bar. It&#039;s hilarious, as always, and has something or other to do with law, so I&#039;m giving you the whole story. Which is long. But never lets up in hilarity.\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Naomi\"\/>\n\t<meta name=\"keywords\" content=\"ileum,ilium,kevin underhill,lowering the bar,mom jeans,rep. wendell gilliard,south carolina legislation\" \/>\n\t<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\/?p=36699\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"generator\" content=\"All in One SEO (AIOSEO) 4.9.10\" \/>\n\t\t<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"aioseo-schema\">\n\t\t\t{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\\\/?p=36699#article\",\"name\":\"What\\u2019s the matter with South Carolina? Saggy trousers | Sidebar for Plaintiffs\",\"headline\":\"What&#8217;s the matter with South Carolina? Saggy trousers\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\\\/?author=1#author\"},\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i1.wp.com\\\/loweringthebar.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2018\\\/02\\\/momjeans-1.jpg?fit=300%2C169\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\\\/?p=36699\\\/#articleImage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2018-02-23T13:57:11-05:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-02-23T13:57:11-05:00\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\\\/?p=36699#webpage\"},\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/sidebarforplaintiffs.naomifein.net\\\/?p=36699#webpage\"},\"articleSection\":\"Law, suits and order, Politics, The Facts of Life, ileum, ilium, Kevin Underhill, Lowering the Bar, mom jeans, Rep. 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Saggy trousers | Sidebar for Plaintiffs\",\"description\":\"Or: \\\" Almost everybody in South Carolina is going to need new pants.\\\" Of course we get this top news from Kevin Underhill's Lowering the Bar. It's hilarious, as always, and has something or other to do with law, so I'm giving you the whole story. Which is long. 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