Thank you, Kevin! Now, let’s limbo!<\/p>\n
\u201cMotion to Declare Trump Victorious\u201d Filed in Pennsylvania<\/em><\/h2>\nNov 19, 2020 01:49 pm | Kevin<\/em><\/h4>\n![\"LTB](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/loweringthebar.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/LTB-default-777x437.jpg?fit=300%2C169&ssl=1\")
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I decided I needed to get more involved in the project of making fun of Rudy Giuliani and the ridiculous arguments he and his ilk have been making, even though I mostly reserve more political statements for my Twitter feed. I feel this has moved beyond the normal legal realm into the farcical legal realm, and so is therefore within my official jurisdiction.<\/em><\/p>\nAnyway, in furtherance of that project, I happened to be on PACER looking at the docket for the case in which Giuliani argued yesterday, mainly hoping to find a transcript of that argument. (The audio has been released, but I\u2019m not sure it\u2019s transcribed yet.) But I also found this remarkable document that was just filed in that case by a pro se plaintiff seeking to intervene on behalf of the Trump campaign, and I thought the public should be aware of that immediately.<\/em><\/p>\nEntitled \u201cMOTION TO DECLARE DONALD J. TRUMP VICTORIOUS FOR INJUNCTIVE RELIEF BECAUSE OF CRIMES \u2026 [TO] COMBINE CASES FOR JUDICIAL EFFICIENCY AND SUMMARY JUDGEMENT,\u201d it is pretty much incomprehensible, and I might not pick on it except that the legal arguments in it have almost exactly the same chance of succeeding as the arguments Trump\u2019s actual lawyers are in court pretending to make.<\/em><\/p>\nPlaintiff spelled the defendant\u2019s name wrong, to start with, but it gets much, much weirder than that. The motion alleges a number of conspiracies and several murders, invokes the crime-fraud exception, complains about the Affordable Care Act, appears to support Bill Cosby as well as Donald Trump, claims that one of Plaintiff\u2019s documents mysteriously vanished \u201cjust like the white bunny HARVEY,\u201d and in the most intriguing reference, alleges that \u201c[t]he current election for president may be just like 2 Star Trek Episodes combined.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\nThe two episodes cited are \u201cBread and Circuses<\/a>\u201d and \u201cWhat Are Little Girls Made Of<\/a>,\u201d both from the original series. In the first, the crew travels to a planet that is a modern version of the Roman Empire, and in the second, Nurse Chapel\u2019s fianc\u00e9 turns out to be obsessed with androids and makes a duplicate of Captain Kirk.<\/em><\/p>\nSo he might be on to something there. I just haven\u2019t figured out what it is.<\/em><\/p>\nKevin has the entire complaint below his \u21d1\u00a0introduction, so, if you care to spend more time with this, you can read the whole thing for yourselves.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nOr just read Kevin. He’s enough for me.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This wacky. But first let us all thank Kevin Underhill, a\/k\/a maestro of LoweringTheBar for entering the How Low Can Trump Go In All These Lawsuits…plus Giuliani stakes? Thank you, Kevin! Now, let’s limbo! \u201cMotion to Declare Trump Victorious\u201d Filed … Continue reading
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I decided I needed to get more involved in the project of making fun of Rudy Giuliani and the ridiculous arguments he and his ilk have been making, even though I mostly reserve more political statements for my Twitter feed. I feel this has moved beyond the normal legal realm into the farcical legal realm, and so is therefore within my official jurisdiction.<\/em><\/p>\n Anyway, in furtherance of that project, I happened to be on PACER looking at the docket for the case in which Giuliani argued yesterday, mainly hoping to find a transcript of that argument. (The audio has been released, but I\u2019m not sure it\u2019s transcribed yet.) But I also found this remarkable document that was just filed in that case by a pro se plaintiff seeking to intervene on behalf of the Trump campaign, and I thought the public should be aware of that immediately.<\/em><\/p>\n Entitled \u201cMOTION TO DECLARE DONALD J. TRUMP VICTORIOUS FOR INJUNCTIVE RELIEF BECAUSE OF CRIMES \u2026 [TO] COMBINE CASES FOR JUDICIAL EFFICIENCY AND SUMMARY JUDGEMENT,\u201d it is pretty much incomprehensible, and I might not pick on it except that the legal arguments in it have almost exactly the same chance of succeeding as the arguments Trump\u2019s actual lawyers are in court pretending to make.<\/em><\/p>\n Plaintiff spelled the defendant\u2019s name wrong, to start with, but it gets much, much weirder than that. The motion alleges a number of conspiracies and several murders, invokes the crime-fraud exception, complains about the Affordable Care Act, appears to support Bill Cosby as well as Donald Trump, claims that one of Plaintiff\u2019s documents mysteriously vanished \u201cjust like the white bunny HARVEY,\u201d and in the most intriguing reference, alleges that \u201c[t]he current election for president may be just like 2 Star Trek Episodes combined.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n The two episodes cited are \u201cBread and Circuses<\/a>\u201d and \u201cWhat Are Little Girls Made Of<\/a>,\u201d both from the original series. In the first, the crew travels to a planet that is a modern version of the Roman Empire, and in the second, Nurse Chapel\u2019s fianc\u00e9 turns out to be obsessed with androids and makes a duplicate of Captain Kirk.<\/em><\/p>\n So he might be on to something there. I just haven\u2019t figured out what it is.<\/em><\/p>\n Kevin has the entire complaint below his \u21d1\u00a0introduction, so, if you care to spend more time with this, you can read the whole thing for yourselves.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Or just read Kevin. He’s enough for me.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This wacky. But first let us all thank Kevin Underhill, a\/k\/a maestro of LoweringTheBar for entering the How Low Can Trump Go In All These Lawsuits…plus Giuliani stakes? Thank you, Kevin! Now, let’s limbo! \u201cMotion to Declare Trump Victorious\u201d Filed … Continue reading