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<\/p>\nFor more than a year I’ve been thinking about the coming employment boom among the federal agencies.<\/p>\n
After all, the former guy’s minions gutted the agencies and\/or employed incompetents to fill the jobs. So I’m figuring there will be tons of jobs available to Americans as soon as the new administration cleans out the detritus from the old.<\/p>\n
But never did I think that four jobs could be filled by one dude.<\/p>\n
Here is Kevin Underhill, in his LoweringTheBar blog, reporting on a guy. A wonderfully entertaining story.<\/p>\n
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According to the Daily Beast <\/a>and this affidavit<\/a>, an Ohio man claimed to work for four federal agencies after being pulled over on May 8.<\/em><\/p>\n You will be surprised to learn he apparently did not work for any of them.<\/em><\/p>\n On that Saturday evening, an officer of the Brook Park PD saw the driver of a white Ford truck activate blue flashing dashboard lights before making an illegal left turn, and then just for good measure activate some rear-mounted blue flashing lights afterward. Apparently undeterred by all these blue flashing lights, the officer turned on his own lights and stopped the vehicle.<\/em><\/p>\n After being told the reason for the stop, the driver advised the officer that he was, in fact, \u201ca Central Intelligence Agency agent working undercover.\u201d Now, you might think that a CIA agent working undercover would not do things like make illegal left turns in a truck mounted with blue flashing lights, or that maybe he might choose not to mount flashing lights on his truck in the first place, on the theory that things like that tend to call attention to oneself. But that just goes to show how little you know about tradecraft. Quietly making only legal turns is exactly the kind of thing an undercover agent would do, and so it\u2019s just what counter-intelligence agents look for when patrolling that hotbed of espionage known as \u201cOhio.\u201d The best way to avoid scrutiny, therefore, is to always drive with flashing lights and sirens operating, and to repeatedly make illegal left turns and lane changes while firing at least one automatic weapon into the air. No secret agent in his right mind would do something like that, and so it\u2019s exactly what such a person should do if he wants to stay \u201cundercover.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Another thing an undercover CIA agent would do is wear a T-shirt that says \u201cCIA\u201d on the front, so it makes sense that the driver was doing that too, following the same logic. Yet the officer asked the driver for his CIA credentials anyway. Likely suspicious of this request, since a demand for \u201cCIA credentials\u201d is just what you\u2019d expect to hear from an enemy agent, the driver \u201cinstead produced a badge bearing the name Federal Bureau of Investigation, explaining he also works for the FBI.\u201d (Emphasis added.) Rather than accepting this, the officer asked him to step out of the vehicle.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cUpon exiting the vehicle,\u201d the affidavit says, the man \u201casked Sergeant Duncan if he was \u2018aware of the CIA operating in this area,\u2019 to which Sergeant Duncan replied that he was not.\u201d Of course, the law restricts the CIA\u2019s ability to operate within the United States, especially near the intersection of Eastland and Sheldon Roads in Brook Park, Ohio, so if the CIA was operating in that area on the evening of May 8, again it would make sense that Sergeant Duncan would have known nothing about it. But the FBI badge seems to have made him suspicious, and Sergeant Duncan also noticed that in plain view on the truck\u2019s center console was yet another badge, this one purporting to show that the driver was an agent of the Drug Enforcement Administration. And during a conversation with another officer, the driver also \u201cadvised [that] he worked for the United States Treasury Department.\u201d There was paperwork in the vehicle showing that he had used the email address ustreasury76Gmoney@gmail.com, and that would have been good enough for me, but apparently the Treasury Department does not use Gmail and its agents tend not to refer to themselves as \u201cG-Money,\u201d so this too was found questionable.<\/em><\/p>\n The FBI and DEA confirmed that the man \u201cwas not an employee thereof,\u201d and although the affidavit doesn\u2019t show any attempt to contact the CIA, the two disavowals do seem to provide probable cause for the crime of impersonating an officer or employee of the United States (18 U.S.C. \u00a7 912). An investigation also showed that while the man was not wearing multiple federal hats as he claimed, there were multiple warrants out for his arrest, mostly for failing to show up for other court dates.<\/em><\/p>\n When officers asked the man why he had never showed up for those court dates, he reportedly told them, \u201cI never go to court. I have too much authority in the United States.\u201d Again, this seems like the kind of thing that an undercover CIA agent would never openly admit, so maybe he was exactly what he claimed to be. It\u2019s a devious game of cat-and-mouse they\u2019re playing out there, that\u2019s for sure.<\/em><\/p>\n UPDATE:<\/strong> This report includes video<\/a> that contains excerpts from the officer\u2019s dash cam and body cam, so you can see and hear the man\u2019s explanations in all their glory.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For more than a year I’ve been thinking about the coming employment boom among the federal agencies. After all, the former guy’s minions gutted the agencies and\/or employed incompetents to fill the jobs. So I’m figuring there will be tons … Continue reading
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