Yes, folks. Judge Judy has offered to enter my life.
Because I filed a complaint in Small Claims Court, Manhattan, I now find myself with two, count ’em two, TV judges fighting over me.
First, Judge Marilyn Milian and the People’s Court. And yesterday, I arrived home from a long, fruitful deposition day to find an express mail envelope on my doorstep, from Judge Judy. (Whose letterhead consists entirely of “JUDGE” on the top line and then underneath that, in huge huge letters “JUDY.” A nice touch: the “D” of “Judy” is filled with a simply designed courthouse logo.)
But no. I won’t dance, don’t ask me. Neither Judge Marilyn nor Judge Judy will be hearing my case. Even though Judge Judy’s producer writes, “we will compensate you for your appearance, as well as pay travel expenses and per diem for you and any necessary witnesses to travel to Los Angeles.” This is munificent of JJ; MM tapes in New York City and all they offered me was “transportation to and from our studio.”
I have many reasons why I’ll be writing both producers a thank-you-but-no letter, primarily because my Small Claims case is a slender shoot from the big tree of my lawsuit against the Skush-O’Briens and I don’t want anything to distract from that much more important matter.
However, it seems that if you file a Small Claims Case in Manhattan you’ll be offered, at the least, a limo ride to MM and, at the most, a trip to L.A.
Another inducement to sue in Manhattan Small Claims Court.