From Lowering the Bar, of course, of course: Needless 911: Can’t Get This Jacket Off and I’m Pissed About It! – Lowering the Bar.
It’s hilarious. Of course, of course:
This one is improved greatly by listening to the call, which I’m going to summarize anyway.
The caller starts right off by saying “Yeah, we got a problem here,” like he’s calling from Apollo 13 and they just heard a loud bang. But the next thing out of his mouth is “My wife is struggling in her jacket … can’t get it off.” While the dispatcher is trying to process that, he sternly demands swift action: “I want 911 up here immediately.” Thinking that maybe the woman is having trouble breathing, the dispatcher asks if that’s the case, to which the man responds, “She’s all right, she just can’t get her goddamn jacket off! And I’m pissed about it!”
And 911 oughtta sue this guy. For something.
Household tip: My jacket zipper got stuck a week ago. I used pliers. And my hands, too.