And there’s an action video!!
Thanks to Kevin Underhill, Lowering the Bar’s maestro, here’s one of those terrific stories that will enthrall and inspire us all. Or many of us. Or maybe a couple of us whose mental health is sort of squishy. (“Children, do you believe in…vampires?” Didn’t J.M. Barrie write that? I mean, later on?)
But hey anyway, Kevin (I don’t know him personally but am in love with him so feel I can call him by his first name) introduces this batty story with a long sort of apologia about taking a gander at all the stories he’s clipped for his draft folder but hadn’t yet used.
I mean, if you feel like it, read his first paragraphs because I do the same thing and feel the same way. (Which is: What? Why is this really important legal story about which I have SO much to say sitting way down the draft post calendar? Bad me, bad me.)
But if you don’t care about this post stuff, scroll down to the guy dancing on a police car and vampires and such matters.
Here’s some of what Underhill has to say about this dude (it’s really, really bizarre; at one point, this guy seems to be trying to moon the house across the street, except he doesn’t pull down his trousers. Go figure):
According to a probable-cause statement posted by The Smoking Gun (thanks, Steven), the suspect was “clear and alert when advising that he had not taken any recreational drugs or alcohol, and was not currently diagnosed with any mental health conditions.” He then advised that he had come to that location “because when he opened his front door, a woman with fangs was threatening him, and that a human sacrifice was about to occur involving vampires. Therefore, [he] made the conscious decision to get the Sheriff of Nottingham to help him stop the slaughter of small children.”
The suspect then invoked his Miranda rights and refused to answer any further questions.
The report doesn’t say whether the man was in fact under the influence of something (drugs, alcohol, or vampires) at the time of the incident, but feel free to speculate.