Matt Gaetz needs to read this BoP advisory

What? Why?

OK, I’ll explain.

Today, TAFKAT informed me that Matt Gaetz has tried to visit Peter Navarro, currently incarcerated, but the Bureau of Prisons somehow got in his way. He’s frustrated! Thus, as logical consequence, he and other congressional MAGAs have decided to agitate for an investigation of the Bureau of Prisons.

Really, they should talk to me first but hey they won’t. Nevertheless, I’m going to pass on universally available advice from the Bureau of Prisons itself, in particular from the prison where Peter Navarro is residing. Which is Miami FCI.

How did I find this out? By entering the BoP website, clicking on the “Find a Prisoner” button, plugging in Navarro’s name and other known attributes (he’s white and male) and voila! Then I clicked on Miami FCI, specifically on the section regarding prisoner visits.

A short, yet pertinent, detour: yesterday I was on the phone with a cousin who is about to enter the Medicare brigade and is a bit agitated over all sorts of things, including how Medicare works.

“Did you read the booklet they sent you?” I asked him. He erupted in a frenzy of anxiety. “What? That 200 page thing…?” I told him it was beautifully written, easy to read and understand and half of it anyway were tables of plans.

Back from our detour: Whoever writes the Bureau of Prisons guides, well, it’s not the exemplary people from HHS.

So, given that Gaetz presumably did not have the patience to get the info up on his screen, I’ll pluck out key points about how Matt can visit Peter Navarro.

How to Visit An Inmate

  1. Locate the inmate. (I just did that for you. BTW, you may need his inmate number. It is 04370-510. Did you know the last three digits are BoP code for the specific prison? Or maybe not, maybe it’s the code for the district where the inmate was indicted. That makes more sense.)
  2. Get yourself on the inmate’s approved visitors list. (Are you on Peter’s list, Matt? Did you ask him to put you on it? Does he want to see you? Does he actually know you?) (There are a series of steps the inmate must follow in order to get you on his list, but that’s his problem, not yours.)
  3. Be Prepared. (It says exactly that. I’m now tempted to launch myself into Tom Lehrer’s “Be Prepared, It’s The Boy Scouts Marching Song,” but won’t, because I’ve learned the Boy Scouts, while still adhering to Christian (!) principles, will now be called Scouting America. Sounds ominous. Scouting America for what? Crosses? Anyway…)
  4. Plan your trip. (The BofP doesn’t care how you get there, what hotel you’ll be staying at, whether it has a pool, etc. Your plans, however, must involve learning when you can visit Peter. And that is somewhat more complicated than it sounds.)

Now, under the “Be Prepared” instruction, you need to read thoroughly the rules for visiting Peter. I’m doing that for you here:

There is a serious dress code, with a long, long bullet list of things you can’t wear. You’d better read it; I don’t feel like copying and pasting it here.

Duration of visit. This may shock you, Matt, but Peter gets at least four hours of visiting time a month. The prison may give him more, but it may not, depending on how crowded things are. So what you’re going to have to do, Matt, is schedule yourself not on any day and time you choose, but one that slots you in with the BoP’s elaborate charts. Elaborate. I glanced through them and would need an Enigma machine to decode.

And there is a behavior code which will apply to you, Matt. Indeed, it may have been written specifically for you (I only make that suggestion to nuture any paranoid tendencies you may be working on). Here, I’ll copy and paste: “Because many people are usually visiting, it is important visits are quiet, orderly, and dignified. The visiting room officer can require you to leave if either you or the inmate is not acting appropriately.”

“Appropriately.” That may be a Matt Gaetz stumbling block.

Physical Contact: “In most cases, handshakes, hugs, and kisses (in good taste) are allowed at the beginning and end of a visit. Staff may limit contact for security reasons (to prevent people from trying to introduce contraband) and to keep the visiting area orderly. The Federal Bureau of Prisons does not permit conjugal visits.”

Oh yeah, and when you’re making your travel plans, note this warning: “Unfortunately, there is no Government payment or reimbursement for transportation.”




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