Contemplating how to commemorate what for me is the penultimate end of the pandemic — I’m all shot — I hadn’t come up with much.
So here’s what happened at the Duane Reade where I was getting my second shot of the Pfizer vaccine. As I sat waiting for the lady with the syringe (La Dame Avec Aiguille), I was entertained by the March of the Paper Products. Two young guys appeared and re-appeared pushing huge carts and carrying big boxes of paper products. Many, many rolls of toilet paper and paper towels. Very unlike what entertained me when I waited for my first shot (shelves stuffed with adult diapers and diarrhea remedies).
The paper products reminded me that the initial ominous mark of the pandemic was the Crusade for Paper Products. Remember when we all snuck around looking for toilet paper? And found weird brands of individual rolls limited to one per customer? And ran around the block based on whispered rumors?
So I commemorate the dawn of an era without a pandemic by reporting that, despite notices from Duane Reade saying they’d be giving us shotees a Krispy Kreme donut after the injection…the nurse knew nothing about the Krispy Kreme promise and, indeed, was as disappointed as I was since she loves Krispy Kreme. And that particular Duane Reade did not even sell Krispy Kreme.
I told her I’d take my shot receipt and wander the earth — well, the Upper West Side of Manhattan — searching for that promised Krispy Kreme. Even now, I’m mentally composing my presentation. Should I weep?