“Now my scary ex wants to take my dog!”

So said yesterday’s Daily News:

He might be Guapo [“handsome” in Spanish] but the custody battle over an adorable little schnauzer is getting ugly.

Ilich Jorquera sued ex-girlfriend Carla Pimentel yesterday for $11 million in Queens Supreme Court, complaining she ran off with their 2-year-old schnauzer Guapo after they broke up.

Oh, enough of that. ($11 million? Talk about outrageous claims.)

Right next to the fetching picture of Carla and Guapo:

Widow sues over quick cremation. A Brooklyn widow is suing the city, a funeral home and a travel agent to find out why her husband was cremated before she had a chance to say goodbye at a religious funeral.

Everybody sues. Don’t you?

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