It was a shimmy, not a shake

And I was cool. If you’d watched me, you would have thought, “She’s so cool.”

I was sitting at my desk, fiddling at the computer, when the floor beneath my feet vibrated tightly. Almost immediately I knew it was a tremor, not something else. I live on West End Avenue where, in the middle of the nights, gigantic creatures pound down the road (garbage trucks?) without shaking anything in my place, so this morning’s quake was definitely not a truck.

Years ago, I was out in LA for some movie purpose when, while sitting in a friend’s office, the support system, i.e., the ground, went haywire. I felt myself going pale, felt the blood draining somewhere out of me. (Where does the blood go when a face turns pale?)

Art, the friend whose office sofa I was clinging to, was at his desk talking on the phone; as I turned white he didn’t blink. Once he got off the phone and looked at me, he waved the thing off. “Just a small tremor,” he said.

I don’t remember what I said in response. I did say something.

However Art catagorized it, that thing was the single most unpleasant physical sensation I can remember. Ever.

So that’s why I’m so cool about today’s shake. It was fast and rhythmic, like a fine percussionist using brushes on a drum. Not like LA, which had no musical theme or controlled movement; LA rocked one way and rolled another like the sort of disorderly and violent amusement park ride I don’t like.

That’s it, we were on the periphery of an earthquake which affected Jersey more than it did New York.


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Hard evidence that one presidential campaign is driving off the rails

Not the bibles, no.

Last night my phone rang. I checked the ID. It read “SPAM-RISK.”

Is it needless to tell you I didn’t pick up the call? Needless.

Later, I was surprised to notice my little (red) message light blinking. What ilk of SPAM-RISK leaves a message? I would have thought the ID was sufficiently message-y. So I pressed the “listen to message” button and listened to the message.

A pleasant, somewhat excited woman’s voice told me of huge breaking news, how someone maybe called Steve Gaines or something was ABOUT TO MAKE A KEY ENDORSEMENT OF…Donald Trump. And if I wanted to be “in on” this endorsement, all I had to do was press a couple of the number buttons and WOWEE! I too could hear the endorsement.

I began chuckling almost immediately. After a while I figured maybe that important endorsement was coming from Steve Daines, not “Gaines” — either of whom would be a resolutely unspectacular senator from one of those states I pay no attention to — without apologies.

How chaotic and disintegrating must the Trump campaign be to set up this robo-call self-identified as SPAM-RISK to a 212 phone number? I mean, Manhattan, where in 2020 Trump won 14.5% of the vote against Biden’s 84.5%.

Doesn’t say much for fascists as campaign organizers, does it?

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Much animal news, some of it especially weird

From Harper’s Weekly Review:

An Alaska airport plans to use a robot disguised as a coyote or fox to scare off wildlife.

Why do I sense this will not go well, in a plethora of ways?

Dairy cows have tested positive for bird flu for the first time.

[T]he Thai town of Lopburi was overtaken by rival monkey gangs.

[I]n Albuquerque, police on horseback chased down a Walgreens shoplifter.

I’m wondering what the horses were thinking during this op.

In Bedfordshire, England, a bear took its own ride on a swan boat, and in Cheshire, England, a woman found out that the baby hedgehog she thought she rescued was actually a pom-pom.

The hedgehog/pom-pom item may be my old-time favorite piece of animal news.

In Mississippi, a five-legged lamb was born; “I think that he will live a normal-for-him life,” said the lamb’s vet.

For those of you who subscribe to either Acorn or Brit Box (probably Brit Box) and can stomach viewing surgeries, you can watch “The Yorkshire Vet” surgically delete a fifth limb from a baby lamb.

Punxsutawney Phil and his wife Phyllis welcomed two children into the world.

Why didn’t anyone tell us Phil got married? Shouldn’t there have been an announcement or something before you spring the birth on us?

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