Aside from Harper’s Weekly Report on things that have happened around the world, I also peruse…that’s not the word. What’s the word? Dig into? No, that’s two words, but you get the idea. I spend time with Harper’s Findings, the last page of every hard copy issue.
It may be a test of my cognition, because some of these indisputable facts (Harper’s has a citation page, if you require proof) are so peculiar, so densely described I blink a lot and occasionally feel I’ve gone mad.
Nevertheless, I feel bound to pull you in. If I’m going mad, I’d like to have you join me.
So, from Harper’s Findings (and these are not all of them; I’ve done a selection):
Sleep consolidates positive emotions and suppresses negatives ones.
Me: But what about bad dreams? Do they indicate one’s sleep mechanism is out of whack? If so, what are we supposed to do about it? Is there a place one can go for a tune-up?
A silver Roman penis pendant unearthed by a retiree was ruled to be treasure, than assessed by the coroner of Maidstone for its “foreskin, shaft, and pubes.”
Me: I do understand what a silver Roman penis pendant might look like. (BTW, the retiree must have been British, because that’s where Maidstone is.) But if the pendant is silver, i.e., an art object or treasure, why is the coroner getting involved and what does his assessment consist of? Does the coroner have a side-gig in penile art objects? Somebody really needs to delve further into this, but it will not be me.
The consumption of improperly cooked cow entrails during winter feasts was responsible for the intestinal parasites of those who built Stonehenge.
Me: If nobody knows who built Stonehenge, or when, how did they get into the intestines of these people? And if these people knew enough physics to figure out how to maneuver those massive stones into place, they didn’t know enough about simple cooking skills to cook cow entrails to perfection? Nobody had a primeval Joy of Cooking around the hut?
Finnish laser scans revealed the reason tree branches droop at night.
Me: Harper’s, how could you drop this on us without following up with the reason tree branches droop at night? Which I didn’t know either?
British ecologists recommended the establishment of moth highways to ease the transition of species driven northward by warming, and the northward movement of the pine beauty moth was fifty years ahead of existing estimates.
Me: No comment necessary, although let’s all note the ominous sign of rapid climate change. Moths going north.
There may be a mirror universe of particles that interacts with our universe through gravity alone.
Me: No comment possible.