“Sovereign Citizen’s SUV Loaded With Chickens & Ammo”

Again from Lowering the Bar, a criminal case with multiple spices, beginning thusly:

First, credit where credit is due. I got this on Twitter from @xarph, who says he has a Google news alert set up for “sovereign citizen” and reports that the results are “always amazing.” Credit also goes to Raw Story for its headline: “Dog’s escape attempt causes ‘sovereign citizen’ to crash SUV full of weed, guns, and chickens.” 

Exactly what this gentleman was up to is not yet known, but he was well prepared, that’s for sure. That came to light after he crashed his SUV at about 3:30 a.m. on I-79 in West Virginia. Police said the man’s dog apparently tried to jump out the window, which may not be too surprising given who (and what) he was being forced to ride with. In the commotion the man lost control, went into the median, and the car rolled over.

State police responding to the crash found 30 live chickens in the vehicle, as well as two assault rifles, a “large amount” of ammunition, and a jar full of marijuana. They also found what were described both as “improvised explosive devices” and “altered fireworks.” Police refused to be more specific about the latter. I’m going to go ahead and speculate that he took the insides out of some fireworks and made improvised explosive devices out of them, but the details appear to be all top-secret. Police arrested the man on the drug charge and weapons charges are forthcoming.

Sadly, the dog did not survive the incident, but his heroic leap may have saved somebody’s life. The man reportedly told police he is a “sovereign citizen,” and while many members of that movement are just odd, not dangerous, the Charleston Gazette notes that according to one report this is the “largest perceived terrorist threat among American law enforcement agencies.”

I read things like this and while laughing uneasily I thank the gods for depositing my emigrating grandparents in northeast America.

Yes, yes, I know: upstate New York and rural portions of this area undoubtedly hold armed camp-lets of these crazy people. But I don’t live in a rural area. I live in my island nation, protected by water. All around it. Everywhere.

So if these “sovereign” whatevers attempt to drive their chicken- and weapon-loaded SUVs onto the island, well, hey, good luck squeezing yourselves into the tunnels or over the GWB without someone noticing and ticketing you for what I’m sure is at least one NYC offense. (Probably the chickens.)

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