“Sweet Embraceable Moo”

I could not have come up with a better headline than that, in a New York Times story yesterday. About, um, “cow cuddling.”

Just in case you’re wondering whahhh?…

As a source of emotional support and therapy, cows are steadfast and nonjudgmental.

Maybe. But they’re also very big. Ever stand next to a cow? Ever stand next to a bull? Big. They’re big. And they don’t respond to helpful commends like, “Make pussy paws!” or “Sit!” (Or, for that matter, “NO!!!!”)*

Although I do note the available therapy cows on this farm cum bed and breakfast do lie down for the cuddle process.

But my favorite line from this delightfully wacky piece is…

“A lot of cows are not suited for it,” Mr. Vullers [therapy cow farmer and B&B host] said. ”They can chase you out of the field.”

Just want to add: even if your apartment is spacious enough to house a service cow, I doubt it would fit into the elevators in your building, not even the service cow elevator.

*Actually, since I’m working seriously on sticking to facts as I finish my book, How I Learned The Facts of Life, I should admit I don’t know this as a fact. I’ve never said anything like that to a cow.

P.S. I’d rather cuddle a baby elephant.



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