The Facts of Life: the JFK assassination

From Walt Hickey, 538 Significant Digits, and I’m wondering how long it’ll take before this excellent bit of satire will hit the internet as Absolute Truth:

61 percent

Percentage of Americans who think John F. Kennedy was not killed by Lee Harvey Oswald alone, according to a SurveyMonkey poll conducted for FiveThirtyEight. Later this week, a final batch of government documents related to the assassination may be released. These will presumably prove my theory: The CIA — which was invented by the Mafia with the dual goals of making frogs gay and also rigging the 1985 NBA draft lottery — foiled simultaneous Communist and anti-Communist assassination plots orchestrated by the original Paul McCartney to cover up the truth that Magneto did it. Or maybe it was Oswald. [FiveThirtyEight]

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