The god problem: Bike lanes in DC opposed by church

There are few moments during which I wish I lived in Washington, DC but this is one of ’em. Because DC apparently has so much more god (and its problems) than we do in NYC and god (and its problems) are so much more fun than that dinky old First Amendment.

Source, DailyKos: Church opposes DC’s proposed bike lane because ‘rights of religious freedom’

Primary source:

This isn’t the first time a local church has turned a proposed bike lane into a political fight.

Source: D.C. church says a bike lane would infringe upon its constitutional ‘rights of religious freedom’ – The Washington Post

P.S. The avenue on which bike lanes are proposed is New York Avenue. Does that mean we New Yorkers get to Bronx cheer the church?

P.P.S. I’ve got the entire U.S. Constitution sitting on a shelf ten feet behind me but I’m not going to walk back there to pick it up and try to find that constitutional “rights of religious freedom” bit.

P.P.P.S. Okay, lest anyone accuse me of being intellectually (and physically) lazy, here’s what the Constitution says about religion:

Article I, Section 9: “No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States…”

No, that’s not it.

Article VI: “…but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”

Edging closer but not there yet.

Amendment I. Freedom of religion, speech, and the press; rights of assembly and petition: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”

Oh, there it is! That “prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” The United House of Prayer must be reading “exercise”, i.e., bike riding and picking up the word “prohibiting” and smashing them together with religious rights.

P.P.P.P.S. What the church is actually saying is: a bike lane will interfere with their free (religious) exercise to freely park their cars (religiously) when attending church.

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