On this first of the new year, I have a new question…

What has happened to fortune cookies?

Last night, after red-penning my book and marking it for the table of contents — ever so exhausting — I considered dinner. Would I heat it up on my single burner (we don’t have gas in our building)? Or would I wander over to my local Chinese restaurant?

You’ve figured out the answer.

I got two yummy dishes and, therefore, two fortune cookies. Which were themselves unusually good.

Now I have another question: does anyone eschew reading the fortunes in the cookies?

Never mind that question. Let’s go back to my initial question. Which is: when did fortune cookies stop telling fortunes and start giving us orders?

“Accept yourself.” That’s one of them. I riposted (that’s not “re-post”) immediately, “I do accept myself, I have long accepted myself, what’s my choice anyway? and why are you giving me assertive advice instead of telling me what’s going to happen, say, tomorrow?”

The second one reads, “When things go wrong, don’t go with them.” Now, this one I appreciated because it’s witty, isn’t it? But, on the other hand, it’s not telling me that something is going to go wrong today.

I’m feeling somewhat bothered by this abdication of fortune cookies’ responsibilities to tell fortunes, instead of commanding me to accept myself and not to go wrong.

I did flip both of the fortunes over and saw that I could go to an url named SecondFortune.com but I’m not going to do that because the first and only time I threw whatevers at the I Ching and didn’t like what it had to say, I threw the whatevers again. My friend Dave — whose I Ching we were using — said, “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you. It doesn’t like being questioned,” and he was right. The I Ching basically slammed me for asking it again.

So, no, I’m not enterting SecondFortune.com territory. Instead I think I’ll begin the new year by (1) accepting myself and (2) not going wrong with things that go wrong. And (3) eating more of the yummy leftovers tonight.

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