Met a dog the other day

He was frolicking in our lobby, playing within the limits of his leash held by a guy who I figured was his walker. They, like I, were waiting for the elevator.

Both dog and walker were obviously having a good time, both smiling, dog dancing on all legs, then on two legs. Fun to watch.

Personally, I was feeling kind of proud that, for once, I did not feel it necessary to ask the dog’s breed. Breed was obvious: he was large, slender and dressed in curly amber fur. Goldendoodle.

We got onto the elevator. I remarked how happy the dog seemed to be. “He’s happy,” said his handler, “because we went on a long trek and he loves that.”

If I were not going to ask the breed, I was going to ask the dog’s name.

“Hubble,” said his handler. Gee. So I asked whether either of Hubble’s human parents were physicists. That was a question too far. The handler didn’t know, and they left the elevator at a lowish floor.

Hubble. While I loved the honor given to a scientific genius, I wasn’t sure the name suited any dog. In my apartment I said, “Hubble?” as if I were calling the dog. “Here, Hubble!” Dog would hear “Hub–” but “ble?” Don’t know.

And was there a plausible nickname for Hubble? Eddie? Winnie?

After a couple of seconds wondering, my mind shifted to another, related question: why can’t dogs choose their own names?

Maybe there could be an internet app which would give dogs such a choice. With a paw-touch screen.

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Another sign of the “End Times”? Or the “Second Coming”?

MediaMatters, the sharpest eyes watching over the (nutso) media business, just informed us that extreme Christian media figures are saying Trump’s irrational war may be the beginning of the “End Times.”

Or the “Second Coming”. Or both.

Naturally, all this confuses me because I’m neither a Christian nor a crazy Christian. Do the End Times come before that Second Coming or after? Either way, it doesn’t make any sense to me.

But this isn’t about me. Because it can’t be.

Mostly, I’m contemplating how disorienting and disheartening it must be for Christians to be promised the End Times (or the other one) multiple times in their lives. Which we all know is true because social media inform us whenever The Word comes down from Christian media. They tell us what is being apocalyptically and imminently offered by extremist Christian talking heads.

Very, very often.

Don’t devoted credible Christians have moments of thinking, “Oh, no! That shit again? It didn’t happen the last hundred times and I’m supposed to believe it will happen, oh, next Wednesday?” Or do they grab their emergency bags every single time and wait for further instructions?

I mean, haven’t they tuned it out by now?

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Today’s Daily News front page headline…

“THERE’S NO PLACE FOR NOEM.”

And the headline over the story:

“TRUMP DONE WITH NOEMLAND WOE”

What would I do without the New York Daily News?

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