Scene from my Gatsby life: “Hank, how do you spell ‘occulist'”?

Mia was pregnant.

The Newport shoot wrapped before her baby bump blossomed fully into Fletcher Previn. Then, what Redford once, semi-sarcastically, termed “the big money, above-the-line” personnel, and the British camera crew and one minor Paramount executive made their various way to London and established themselves at Pinewood Studios for the remaining filming.

Rumor was that Mia’s no-longer-a-mere-rumor pregnancy caused Theoni Aldredge to have a nervous breakdown, but there is no such thing as a nervous breakdown. And, besides, Theoni wouldn’t have put up with one. Maybe some screaming was overheard. Probably some screaming. But immediately, Theoni launched a wardrobe rebuild of Daisy’s enchanting slim sheathes, camouflaging wherever she could with scarves, which expanded in volume as the shooting proceded.

Still, the schedule had to be reworked to accommodate Mia’s pregnancy. That made some people grumpy. Hank Moonjean finagled, always needing to take into consideration the vagaries of British weather, since we did have some exterior shooting in England.

Our excessively polite British production manager, Peter — who kept calling Hank “Mr. Moonjean,” while Hank kept saying, “Peter, I’m Hank” — had a connection with someone who had a connection with an English farmer who was a sort of clairvoyant: supposedly he could predict the weather a couple of days in advance.

Hank took this in with Hank poise. He and I were living in rentals in London, so he and his driver would pick me up each morning for the drive to Pinewood. We’d pass farm fields with grazing cows and Hank would inspect the cows because, “If they’re standing up, tomorrow will be a dry day, if they’re sitting down, it’ll be rain. Or the opposite.” And I’d always burst out in giggles.

But above the gray land and the spasms of bleak dust which drift endlessly over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg. The eyes of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg are blue and gigantic–their retinas are one yard high. They look out of no face, but, instead, from a pair of enormous yellow spectacles which pass over a non-existent nose. Evidently some wild wag of an oculist set them there to fatten his practice in the borough of Queens, and then sank down himself into eternal blindness, or forgot them and moved away. But his eyes, dimmed a little by many paintless days under sun and rain, brood on over the solemn dumping ground. 

Aside from the exterior shooting, the rest of Gatsby would be shot on a series of exquisite sets created by John Box and constructed by his British crew. The shimmering ersatz marble swimming pool (it was wood) in which Gatsby died. The “Eyes of T.J. Eckleberg, Occulist,” gazing down upon Wilson’s garage, and me…

Uh, oh another agita incident over that faded sign behind me. Please look up at the previous paragraph to see how I spelled Eckleberg’s speciality. Which was the spelling on the sign, but somewhat different from the proper way Fitzgerald spelled it — “some wild wag of an oculist.”

How do things like this happen?

Before I landed in London and onto that sound boom, Hank and Jack Clayton were inspecting the Wilson garage set which fronted on the train tracks leading into the distance, to “New York City.” (The RR tracks were a particular marvel of trompe l’oeil: sitting where I was above, if I turned to my right, I’d see those tracks running into infinity, i.e., “New York City,” but when I walked along the tracks, they narrowed and narrowed until they were perhaps a foot apart.)

Oh dear. I keep wandering off the track. Back to Hank and Jack in Wilson’s garage. Jack had turned toward the sign and gazed upon it for an unusually long time. “Hank,” Jack said in an ominous tone, “how is ‘occulist’ spelled?”

Now is the time to tell you about Jack’s temper and concomittant proclivity for throwing and breaking things. Mirrors, window panes, glassware. Once, in Newport, Jack threw something at a window in Hank’s office. Hank said to me, “The only thing I’m getting on this film is pneumonia.”

Something got broken that day when Jack realized his long-time secretary had typed a revision of the scene and had misspelled Doctor T.J. Eckleburg’s profession. The pages had been given to the crew, who dutifully replicated the spelling on that full-scale, $25,000 sign.

Neither the money for rebuilding the sign nor the time for doing so was in the budget, never mind the already discomposed schedule, so there the sign stayed. “Occulist.”

That’s how these things happen.

 

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For my fellow urbanites: same genius, different subject

Holmes had been buried in the morning papers all the way down, but after we passed the Hampshire border he threw them down and began to admire the scenery. It was an ideal spring day, a light blue sky, flecked with little fleecy white clouds drifting across from west to east. The sun was shining very brightly, and yet there was an exhilarating nip in the air, which set an edge to a man’s energy. All over the countryside, away to the rolling hills around Aldershot, the little red and gray roofs of the farm-steadings peeped out from amid the light green of the new foliage.

“Are they not fresh and beautiful?” I cried with all the enthusiasm of a man fresh from the fogs of Baker Street.

But Holmes shook his head gravely.

“Do you know, Watson, said he, “that it is one of the curses of a mind with a turn like mine that I must look at everything with reference to my own special subject. You look at these scattered houses, and you are impressed by their beauty. I look at them, and the only thought which comes to me is a feeling of their isolation and of the impunity with which crime may be committed there.”

“Good heavens!” I cried. “Who would associate crime with these dear old homesteads?”

“They always fill me with a certain horror. It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.”

“You horrify me!”

“But the reason is very obvious. The pressure of public opinion can do in the town what the law cannot accomplish. There is no lane so vile that the scream of a tortured child, or the thud of a drunkard’s blow, does not beget sympathy and indignation among the neighbours, and then the whole machinery of justice is ever so close that a word of complaint can set it going, and there is but a step between the crime and the dock. But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deed of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser. Had this lady who appeals to us for help gone to live in Winchester, I should never have had a fear for her. It is the five miles of country which makes the danger.”

–From The Adventure of the Copper Beeches, by Arthur Conan Doyle

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A scientific genius expresses his view of RFK, Jr and others of his ilk

“This is indeed a mystery,” I remarked. “What do you imagine that it means?”

“I have no data yet. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts…”

Sherlock Holmes to Dr. Watson in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s,  A Scandal in Bohemia

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