Frank sentences to be etched in granite…and then gilded

The “Frank” is Frank Bruni, long-time NYT columnist.

Yesterday, the title of his column, “The Vanity and Inanity of the Trump White House,” drew me right in, because of the language. I’m a sucker for good phrases and stuff like that. And Bruni gave me pots of pleasure wielding that knife in his language, excerpts of which I’m now sharing with you so you, too, can have pots of pleasure:

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. practices the politics of narcissism…

Thus, RFK Jr is saying to us…

I flaunt a sun-sizzled appearance, so you should have the same leathery license.

About two months ago, the health secretary nixed a proposal by the Food and Drug Administration to make tanning beds, like alcohol and cigarettes, off-limits to minors…Is there some melanoma lobby we don’t know about?

[The Trumpers are] fixated on looks — to a degree that’s not remotely normal, in a manner that’s positively cartoonish, with no appreciation for how much of themselves and their vacuous governing philosophy they’re revealing.

Never have I witnessed a White House so devoted to surfaces. Surfaces caked with makeup. Surfaces puffed up with hair spray. Surfaces glossed with gold. Surfaces that glitter blue — or someday might, if the over-budget overhaul of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool ever works out as promised.

Your sheen is your success, and you are what you impersonate.

“On top of everything else, he is ‘central casting,’” Trump wrote in the late January social media post that announced [Kevin] Warsh’s selection.

All the world’s a television show, “central casting” is a recurring compliment and handsomeness or beauty establishes a kind of superiority, which in turn bequeaths confidence, which then begets dominance. By his zoology, an aviary of peacocks equals a menagerie of lions.

And what peacocks these putzes are. In many other milieus, Kristi Noem’s comically voluminous tresses, suspiciously plump visage and unsubtle makeup would be a waste of aggressive cosmetology. In Trump’s circle, they established her as a fierce warrior goddess…

In many other milieus, Pete Hegseth’s habit of sharing videos of his workouts would be seen as a grossly self-enamored distraction. In Trump’s circle, they’re a testament to his tenacity…Nothing spells imminent doom like a cabinet member’s pecs.

Trump treats physical vanity as a secret handshake, a sign that you get his egotistic ethos and you belong. If you’re not strutting, you’re not selling.

Pitch and packaging are everything. Perfect them and you don’t have to worry about the product itself…That thinking informs the cabinet secretaries’ physical preening just as it explains the president’s oratorical preening — all those ludicrous superlatives — and his emphasis on costumes, scenery and slogans.

The war with Iran is Operation Epic Fury, and it has demonstrated anew that the Trump administration’s initiatives are lavishly marketed rather than carefully conceived. Assessments of the war’s progress change daily, even hourly, and repeatedly turn out to be unreliable, because they’re often just phrases put through the language equivalent of tanning beds to be given a glow and bronzed just so. That’s what’s important. Not the cancer growing beneath.

Brilliant, and deeply wise.

 

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What’s going on in the neighborhood?

Went to the post office on 65th Street and Columbus. Bought stamps. Left the post office. Noticed a line of people outside the post office but not for the post office. How did I know that? They weren’t facing in the post office’s direction.

I walked west on 65th Street. Across the street was that line. Just kept going. People. Tons of people, on line for something, probably at the AMC Theatre complex. But what?

Couldn’t stand the suspense. So crossed the street and asked the first person I saw, “Why are you standing on this line?”

“An exclusive preview of a movie.”

“What movie?”

“‘The Passenger,'” he said. A horror movie. He did not say that the horror part was that this movie was previewing in the metropolitan area ONLY at this theatre. I mean, he said that but did not label it as the horror part. I labeled it as the horror part. Perhaps I should add it’s a sunny day and the temperature is around 90 degrees.

I knew the line was a lot bigger than one of those theatres would hold. “No,” he said, “it’s screening in multiple theatres.”

I went home to find out more about “The Passenger.” It was a struggle to find out (lots of movies have been called “The Passenger”) but I succeeded. I will not be going to it.

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I am real. Seems my ID is not.

I did not actually need another reason to deplore the deliberately complicated idiocy of the Trump administration, the idiocy which is designed to be perceived as too intelligent for us peons to understand.

But I’m planning a plane trip in June (depending, of course, on the standoff in the Strait of Hormuz and whether my flight will have the fuel to make it). I have been only dimly aware of Real ID. Until just now, after watching and listening to a video about (1) what Real ID is; (2) how to check whether I’ve got it; and (3) what to do if I don’t have and need to get it.

Why? I’ve been real enough to travel all over the planet for many, many years. But oops. My NYS driver’s license neither has a FLAG nor a STAR in the upper right hand corner. Ergo, the Trump dopes have determined I am not real enough.

The gleefully described and utterly nonsensical rigamarole (is that reiterative? I don’t care) contained in that video would collapse the brain and heart of MAGAts, you can be sure. Because they’re not really swift enough to follow the conscientiously convoluted instructions.

This nonsense requires I go to my affable DMV (I mean that) to get a Real ID. Oh, but I can’t just go down there. No, no, no. I have to make a reservation, and reservations seem to be hard to come by, maybe three months’ in the future at my DMV.

The narrator — using a voice that is simultaneously jolly and menacing — tells you what to do out of the order you must do it in. At some point in the audio-video, we are told we need to take a filled-out application with us to the DMV but it doesn’t tell us how to get that application.

Every screen produces a list of the multiple documents I would need to get that FLAG or STAR; every screen’s list supplements the previous screen’s list, and so does the next screen and the next screen and– One of those documents is my Social Security Card. The IRS has my SSN, but the DMV doesn’t. Why is this nasty administration collecting information I do not give to anyone? That question was pejorative; we all know the answer.

Oh, I can do it, for sure. But oh boy do I think the people who in March 2025 (immediately after the crazy dimwit was inaugurated) devised what they think of as a torture chamber for anyone who isn’t a Real White American Patriot…are a bunch of un-smart fuckers doing what the Chief Un-Smart Fucker’s devious Un-Smart Fucking Minions have told them to do? Oh yes I do.

I know one person who absolutely, positively doesn’t have the brain to cope with this. You know who I mean.

Really, the thing reads like the funeral plans in The Death of Stalin.

These dopes are incompetent at absolutely everything, even their pretentions.

P.S. I scrolled down the page and found a bunch of people commenting, worrying, crabbing. Most of them blame the state, i.e., New York, for doing this. A lot of them say it’s corruption — whatever they think that means — and it’s just a New York State power and money grab!

Finally, one person wrote this was a federal program. I hope he convinced the rest of them. Bad enough we have to go through this blameworthy program. We shouldn’t be blaming the wrong entity, which is yet another ploy of the Trump admin.

 

 

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