I can’t let New Year’s Day go by without reporting this weirdness

My sister, Doctor Deb, a serious physician with our family sense of absurdist humor, called from her car to tell me this:

When driving through Sleepy Hollow, she has passed a store called Ashes to Glasses without thinking more about it, other than to wonder what the store’s business is. Today, she noticed what the store says it does.

Ashes to Glasses takes the ashes from your cremated loved one(s), which could of course also be your pet(s), and turns them into…glassware. Like, a vase. After a short sharp shocked silence (from me, absorbing this), our conversation went something like this:

“Why don’t they bypass the morticians and cremate the body themselves?” A one-stop shop.

“People are so freaky.”

“But really inventive. However, there are many inventions that nobody was asking for.”

“If they can do a vase, why not wine glasses?” Or chandeliers?

“If somebody brought in ashes from a fireplace and didn’t tell them, could they make glassware out of it or is it only corpse ashes that can make glass?”

Well, I decided to get clarification and asked Perplexity, “There’s a shop in Sleepy Hollow called Ashes to Glass. What does it do?” The answer was far more horrible than anything my sister and I came up with. From Perplexity:

Ashes to Glasses is typically a memorial glass business that incorporates a small amount of human or pet cremation ashes into custom glass items such as jewelry, ornaments, or decorative keepsakes. These studios usually invite families to send or bring a tablespoon or so of ashes, which are then carefully fused into molten glass to create a visible swirl or layer within the finished piece.

Jewelry?

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Upset about those million pages on the Epstein Affair?

Worried that the volume (and DOJ redactions) make it impossibly burdensome for Congress’s investigative units to get through them, let alone find the smoking guns?

Instead of worrying, watch Dark Waters, a brilliant legal thriller from 2019, starring Mark Ruffalo as lawyer Robert Bilott. It’s the true story of how one dedicated lawyer brought DuPont to a reckoning over their “forever” chemicals, the toxic waste from which poisoned at least one town in West Virginia.

A few things to note here. While it took Robert Bilott 20 years to pursue his case, he faced some obstacles Congress does not re the Epstein matter. The chemicals used in Teflon had not been tested and condemned by the Environmental Protection Agency because DuPont, which knew of the dangers, had kept their knowledge secret.*

And Bilott was prosecuting a massive corporation which was of the nature of all corporations, entirely profit-driven and amoral. And DuPont had lawyers in abundance to shrug the whole thing off.

Although Trump’s Department of Justice has been thoroughly corrupted, no one who’s followed their creepy and breathtakingly incompetent courtroom shenanigans can believe any DOJ lawyer is intelligent enough to protect any villain from the Epstein files.

As for the scary number of one million pages, it won’t be surprising if, after the DOJ turns over all the documents to Congress, the pile is out of order, not even chronological. It’ll probably be a mess of documents.

Rather than retell my own experiences with a mess of discovery documents, let’s go to my favorite scene in Dark Waters. DuPont has finally delivered discovery documents to Bilott: boxes and boxes and boxes piled up in one room. He and an assistant open the boxes and immediately understand there’s no order at all to the documents.

I can’t remember whether they get down on the floor (which is my favorite sorting discovery surface) to organize the documents chronologically, but whatever the surface, they organize the documents. And then they read…every…single…page. Thoroughly, word for word. And they find the single piece of paper they need: verification that DuPont knew their chemical mix was dangerous.

And that’s what Congressional investigators will do with the Epstein files: put them in chronological order and read every single page. Word for word.

It’s not going to take 20 years.

Ω

*What happened in the DuPont case reinforces my belief that the EPA protects not only us ordinary people from dangers but also protects corporations like DuPont from such huge lawsuits. When the EPA was questioned about those brand new chemicals, they had no research on them and hadn’t regulated them. DuPont had kept that secret.

Since the EPA had been deliberately ignored by DuPont, DuPont was fully financially liable for the deaths and damages it had caused.

The Trump deregulation mania to free corporations from restrictions will make those corporations liable for huge class-action lawsuits. And I do think that in our current Gilded Age mini-era, none of the oligarchs is going to find asylum from us. I mean, would you not sue Elon Musk because, I dunno, he’s Elon Musk?

 

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A dark warning to Trump about his glittery monarchy

New ideas of socialism were in the air. They were spreading through Europe, and it was not only in France that men accounted it an infamous anachronism that the great mass of a community should toil and sweat and suffer for the benefit of an insolent minority.

Already had there been trouble with the peasantry in Sweden, and [Baron] Bjelke [the King’s secretary] had endangered his position as a royal favourite by presuming to warn his master. Gustavus III desired amusements, not wisdom, from those about him. He could not be brought to realize the responsibilities which kingship imposes upon a man. It has been pretended that he was endowed with great gifts of mind. He may have been, though the thing has been pretended of so many princes that one may be sceptical where evidence is lacking. If he possessed those gifts, he succeeded wonderfully in concealing them under a nature that was frivolously gay, dissolute, and extravagant.

His extravagance forced him into monstrous extortions when only a madman would have wasted in profligacy the wealth so cruelly wrung from long-suffering subjects. From extortion he was driven by his desperate need of money into flagrant dishonesty. At a stroke of the pen he had reduced the value of the paper currency by one-third — a reduction so violent and sudden that, whilst it impoverished many, it involved some in absolute ruin — and this that he might gratify his appetite for magnificance and enrich the rapacious favourites who shared his profligacy.

The unrest in the kingdom spread. It was no longer a question of the resentment of a more or less docile peasantry whose first stirrings of revolt were easily quelled. The lesser nobility of Sweden were angered by a measure — folowing upon so many others — that bore peculiarly heavily upon themselves; and out of that anger, fanned by one man — John Jacob Ankarström — who had felt the vindictive spirit of royal injustices, flamed in secret the conspiracy against the King’s life which Bjelke had discovered. 

–From The Night of Masquerade: The Assassination of Gustave III of Sweden by Rafael Sabatini in 1924.

Baron Bjelke did not participate fully in the 1792 assassination. On his way to warn the King, he’d been given a letter addressed to the King. It was from Bjelke’s wife who was, he then learned, having an affair with Gustavus.

He did not give his wife’s letter to the King, nor did he warn him of the assassination plot which successfully inflicted a mortal wound on Gustavus during the Masquerade at the Royal Opera House. I’m fairly sure that hall was classically beautiful. I’m also fairly sure you grasp my reference.

So much of Sabatini’s description of Gustavus sounds awfully familiar today. I wonder which MAGAt minion might become a Baron Bjelke.

P.S. Anyone who loves opera might find this story familiar. Giuseppe Verdi and his librettist used the essence of it in Un Ballo In Masquera (masked ball), although the Italian censors would not let him assassinate a monarch, so the whole story and its characters got moved to…Boston. Just before the American Revolution. The “monarch” who is killed in the last act is now the governor of Boston. Named Riccardo.

It’s somewhat screwy but the score is so marvelous it gets you past the muddle, even when two American revolutionaries, Sam and Tom, show up to lurk on the borders.

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