Contemplating plastic surgery?

I often do, usually as a reaction to seeing pics of celebrities in the absurdist gossip magazine in my doctor’s office. And as I do, I mutter, “That’s not what age 51 looks like; that’s what age 51 looks like with extensive — if excellent — plastic surgery.”

Still, celebrities are not on the top of the heap when it comes to cosmetic alterations, as this excerpt from the New York Times articles on the El Chapo trial show.

Getting too much plastic surgery appears to be an unwritten rule in narco textbooks. The drug lord Amado Carrillo Fuentes, known as the Lord of the Skies, famously died under a surgeon’s knife, and several witnesses said they went through extensive operations.

Tirso Martínez Sanchez, who helped run trains filled with drugs between Mexico and the United States for the cartel, said he had several facial-reconstructive operations to drastically alter his appearance, stopping only after he started bleeding out during his third operation.

Most memorable were the comic-strip-like features of Juan Carlos Ramírez Abadía, known as Chupeta, who was El Chapo’s Colombian cocaine supplier. Over the course of several operations, he structurally altered his jawbone, cheekbone, eyes, mouth, ears and nose.

Chupeta also tried to have his fingerprints removed, most likely causing a circulation problem; he almost constantly used gloves on the stand. In court, his reddened skin looked like melted wax pulled over his scalp.

That’s enough. I do not require further discouragement.

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