Don’t tell me what we CAN’T name the new dwarf planet!

One of the gripes I have about the Times is when its hard copy headlines are altered forĀ  the digital copy.

I read both — or, rather, use each differently — but always start with the hard copy. And in today’s main section, there is a nice story about a newly discovered and far-off dwarf planet doing its planetary stuff around our sun. It even has a moon of its very own!

I am more attracted to stories about new planets than to stories about new fungi, probably because I’m an optimist and prefer to feel good about life than to dread deadly fungus attacks.

But what fully drew me into the story of She Who Is Currently Known As 2007 OR10, was the hard copy headline. Which reads:

Minor Planet’s Name Is Put to a Vote. (Planety McPlanetface Need Not Apply.)

“What?” I cried, out loud, as I am wont to do when particularly roused. “‘Need Not Apply.'”? Are they kidding?

Here’s the digital story, with headline that does not mention Planety McPlanetface.

Anyone who’s read this blog for a while knows why I’ve been provoked into action.

Because Floaty McFloatface.

Floaty McFloatface was the silken thread that held my near-shredded sense of humor together after November 2016. It remains one of my belly laughs. (Try it. Just say to yourself, “Floaty McFloatface,” and see what happens.)

So I am obstinately devoted to naming 2007 OR10 Planety McPlanetface, not one of the three unimaginative and not funny at all candidates: Gonggong, Holle and Vili.

If I’m currently considering as many as 15 or 20 Democratic presidential candidates, don’t give me just three names for that planet.

I wanna hear from the People about this. The Isle of Wight’s People resisted and insisted. And they won.

Got any objections? Well, lock yourself in a closet and don’t come out until this thing has been landed.

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