Wednesday night I was listening to Jen Psaki on MSNBC as she delved into the Ghislaine Maxwell prison story, deservedly spending most of the time with a lawyer who represents a number of Maxwell and Epstein’s victims, whose voices are not being heard.
But before she did, she talked about the Maxwell prison move to a minimum security facility — which she described as “Club Fed.” I was kind of wowed. And I’m pretty sure that the BoP wasn’t. Wowed, I mean.
I haven’t heard anybody use that term since my days working for lawyers, during which I had access to the actual Club Fed, a glossy booklet containing information (and photos) of all the federal prisons.
The “soft time” prisons themselves were not specifically known as Club Fed. They were part of what I’d call the Club Fed Collection, as portrayed in that glossy booklet.
This is Allenwood FCI, in Pennsylvania.⇑ It was long considered the four-star resort of the collection. Its low-security facility was the prison of choice (except nobody had a choice) for white-collar criminals. You know, big-time con men, embezzlers, like that. Non-violents crimers, men who were considered too flabby to be of danger to the rest of the prison population. (Guys who resembled Trump in a number of ways.)
But when I recently checked up on Allenwood, I found its reputation was no longer apropos — if it ever had been. Like, no tennis courts. (No golf, either.) There is a gymnasium with a weight room, and a recreation yard but, as I know, most federal prisons have these facilities. (Along with law libraries.)
Here are the specific activities inmates can avail themselves of, which I’ve copied directly from the Admissions and Orientation Handbook, so you won’t think I’m making this up. (I’ll leave you to imagine what, say, “crochet orientation” could be. And “paper rolling orientation”?)
Crafts: ceramics, crochet orientation (I told you, didn’t I? Even male facilities offer crocheting), paper rolling orientation, painting, painting orientation, drawing class, drawing, ceramic orientation, music classes.
Music: There are a number of instructional music classes in the area of guitar, bass guitar, piano, music vocals, and music theory as well as open music instrument use.
Wellness: step aerobics, Swiss ball, Fit for Life, Silver Streak, Cardio, NFPT, jogging program, medicine ball, jump rope, exercise fitness bikes, total body fitness, CPR – Red Cross, body composition analysis, spinning bike, yoga, flexibility, Wellness Library (17) courses.
(Oh, Trump! Think about Trump utilizing the Wellness program.)
Leisure Time Activities: fitness equipment, basketball, guitar, weight lifting, bocce ball, chess, walking, billiards, CD music listening, jogging, foosball, piano, handball, bingo, board games, puzzles, card playing.
Athletic Leagues: billiards, bocce, flag football, ping-pong, horseshoes, volleyball (indoor/outdoor), floor hockey, handball/racquetball, basketball (indoor/outdoor),
softball, basketball age 35 +, soccer (indoor/outdoor).
(Again, I can’t stop thinking about Trump doing some of these “activities.” Which do you envision him doing?)
The actual prototype Club Fed facility, rumored to have those tennis courts, was Elgin, FPC (Federal Prison Camp) in Florida.
Another sad fact: The BoP had sort of borrowed the Elgin facilities from the Air Force. To save money, they decided to clear out and return the place to the Air Force. So the original Club Fed is gone. Along with the booklet.