Back in the 1990s, I worked in a small law firm that came to specialize in civil rights law — which meant that quite a number of our clients were victims of police violence. And cop convicted of such violent acts and/or those who plead guilty often went to federal prison.
John D.B. Lewis, one of the lawyers I worked for, maintained a practice in criminal defense law, and had represented a client who went to Florence, the federal “supermax” prison. Among the various books John had in his office was one odd thick, multi-page pamphlet produced by the Bureau of Prisons, fully detailing every federal facility in the country. Really detailed. If your client, say, was about to enter the prison system, you (the lawyer) could look up the prison he was going to and get the information about the place: the address, the officials who ran it, how to contact them, how to contact your client, the prison’s designation (maximum, medium, minimum security).
Couple of things that were sort of daffy about the pamphlet. First, it was produced on heavy, glossy paper. Like a travel brochure. Second, each page for each prison also listed the, uh, recreational facilities available. Like a gym, library, recreational and educational programs, that sort of thing.
But the really entertaining part of the listing was, at the top of each glossy page, a panoramic photograph (yes, in B&W but still) of the whole prison in its often remote and beautiful setting, and some of those prisons looked like, I dunno, hotels? Condos? In the mountains, maybe with ski slopes?
Ergo, the pamphlet was known among lawyers as Club Fed.*
I found this to be very witty. But the Federal Bureau of Prisons did not.
I called them once to track down the whereabouts of an imprisoned cop. I gave them the prisoner’s name and number, but probably said I didn’t need the address and other contact info because we had a copy of Club Fed.
The woman’s voice turned to ice. “We. Don’t. Call. It. That,” she said. I shivered, and apologized.
*A grievous loss. The Club Fed booklet is no longer in existence, thanks to the internet. All the BoP info is now on their web site.